Depression
Clinical Depression
I Used to not think much of it
I sympathised with people who suffered from depression
But now things have changed
I can 'Empathise' with them

A lot of things have changed for me latley
Well not really changed around me
But changed inside me
I quite quickly slipped into a realm which many people enter once every so often of stress and angsiety
But I can't seem to get out of that realm
After the physical symptoms of everything which was happening was starting to overwhelm me I saw a doctor
Who then sent me to a psychiatrist
And apparently I am a sufferer of clinical depression
I dont want this to seem like me just ranting on about my life
or my problems
I'm not looking for sympathy
But more of a discussion
Maybe a path
Some path that leads out of the place which I'm in at the moment
I'm on medication which I dislike
It's making me disoriented and I can't seem to concentrate or have one single coherent thought anymore
Also ontop of that a high dose of valium regularly
I guess this just sounds like a whine
But I wanted to discuss it with someone
Wether it be the symptoms, the treatment, anything really
I guess I just wanted to tell someone
I hope one of you reads this
I just want to... talk

I have/still do at times suffer from depression.

I used to be very in the closet about it, because I went from being a happy, bubbly girl to a withdrawn and sad kid. When people started to call me out on it, I put up a barrior, well not so much a barrior but an illusion, I pretended to still be happy, but then whenever I got home I would just lock myself in my room.

In the end, it did me way more harm then good, and I ended up really hurting my family because of this. I didn't see a psychologist(I hate them) so I started to talk tomy family, and be more open. I told my friends what I was going through, and they understood, and helped me. And though now I still have major mood swings every few weeks,I can deal with those and I am much happier and normal most of the time.

Yeah, this is my story.

I understand what you mean about keeping it close to you and in the closet
Although at first I did it for different reasons to you
Well I think so
I did it becuase I wanted to be able to fix it myself
I didn't want my problems to become other peoples problems
I didn't want to involve the people around me
But then I realised I was involving thema nd hurting them by not getting someone to help
I didn't see my mood swings or the way I was making other people feel

pretending to be happy and staying in the closet is a very bad thing to do

I'm seeing a psychologist at the moment
I find that she really does help me
I've seen her a few times now
And we've worked through a lot of things
Some people don't find that they help though and thats ok
I saw a psychologist a few years ago and disliked it
But this time aorund I think it's benifiting me
My views have been changed again

Maybe we could discuss more about psychologists, psychiatrists and councellors and why/why not they help?

They said I had.... certain problems.

I think that a lot of my problems were caused by stress.
My dad forced me to take medication and I had to see psychologists.
I think that a lot of them were... unqualified to say the least.
I solved almost all of my problems on my own or with people who were not even psychologists.

Anyway, I'm hoping that you will find a way to cope with it that works best for you.


I really don't know anything I could say that would help.

Do you know the direct cause of your depression? Have they done blood work on you?

I used to have problems with this awhile back. Basically I got through it by talking to all my friends.

I've never been diagnosed, because I hide it from my family (it would just worry them and bankrupt them), But I, at times, just feel that it's too much.
I've done my research, but I don't see how a drug will help me , so no doctors for me.

But as for the psychologist/psychiatrist thing, Most of these so called 'professionals' are in it for the money, and the money alone.
They follow a textbook format, and hope it will suffice.
The only therapists that really help, are those that care, and dive into their patients problems.

And other times, people need to think things through themselves before admitting, or working through it with anyone else, making the need for 'help' pointless.

Hrm
It seems to me that more mature and intelligent people are depressed
I wonder if that's because they've seen or realised things on their way to maturity that lead them to depression, or has depression force them to become more mature in order to deal with their problems
Personally I think it's the first
I over-think things, and I think that dosen't help with my angsiety problems

Yeah... I know what you mean.
It's almost like from what they've all seen in a smaller time span, impacts them harder because they don't have time to regain their thoughts and bring down the drama a bit.

I know I feel that way sometimes.